It’s 2021, and humanity is broken. The world cannot get its shit together to do anything about climate change. That’s why Cards Against Humanity is convening a historic summit of world leaders releasing a pack of funny cards.
The Climate Catastrophe Pack comes with 30 new cards about how fucked we are. 100% of the profits will go to the Coalition for Rainforest Nations to stop deforestation — one of the most cost-effective ways to fight climate change. The pack also includes thousands of tree seeds you can plant to assuage your feelings of powerlessness while civilization collapses around you.
30 all-new cards about how bad climate change is and how much worse it’s going to get. We’ll give you a pity discount if your area is super-fucked!
Climate change is going to fuck everybody, but some areas will be more fucked than others. How fucked is your area? Enter your zip code and find out.
Fun fact: trees remove carbon from the atmosphere! Wow. That’s why we partnered with the Coalition for Rainforest Nations, and that’s why your pack comes with thousands of tree seeds. You can even plant the wrapper to grow tomatoes.
We wrote a new pack called the “Climate Catastrophe Pack.” We’re donating 100% of the profits to the Coalition for Rainforest Nations, a group fighting climate change by working to stop deforestation worldwide. If you live in a part of the US that will be particularly fucked by climate change, we’ll give you a pity discount. Also, the pack comes with a buttload of seeds.
Just scroll up to this thing and type in your zip code.
We calculated how every US county will be affected by heat, floods, hurricanes, drought, and sea level rise over the next few decades using data aggregated by the American Communities Project.
To give you one last taste of happiness before the ocean takes your house.
Sorry, we are a comedy card game company and don’t have the resources to calculate how every parcel of land on the planet will be impacted by climate change.
No, climate change will still fuck you by collapsing the global economy.
The whole point of Tesla is for Elon Musk to make so much money that he can fuck off to Mars.
Mostly they just dissolve in your locally-sourced marionberry lemonade while Exxon-Mobil sets the ocean on fire.
Don’t vote for Republicans.
That’s the main thing. You could also plant the tree seeds we sent you, and you could give more money to the Coalition for Rainforest Nations — they’ll save more trees than you could plant in a thousand lifetimes.
Listen, if you’re smart and caring enough to give up the joys of parenthood just to lower your carbon footprint, you’re exactly the kind of person who should pass on your good qualities to future generations. Otherwise, we’ll descend into the world depicted in the film “Idiocracy,” where Starbucks sells handjobs and we water plants with Gatorade. So please, have lots of kids, and make sure they grow up to be Democrats.
We were originally asked to write this pack by the United Nations for their COP26 conference. We finished the pack and this website, but then the United Nations got offended by the card “Sucking the farts out of a cow’s butthole,” so they backed out.
If you don’t use humor as a coping mechanism for the incomprehensible scale of human folly, then Cards Against Humanity is not for you.